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When the Mad Arab penned his last words on the black book of the Necronomicon, he claimed to have seen a thousand moons, faced the gods and goddesses and traveled the fiery earth of hell. Is it such a claim that made this man mad, or was he mad BECAUSE he made this claim? You are the judge, you are your judge.
Having lived through the last few months, I can only conclude that I have pretty much come to that same stage of insanity. Beneath fine quilt curtains, behind the peaceful façade, there is nothing; nothing to justify everything. The light of purpose lost to the pitch black space of the ever-expanding cosmos.
In this darkness, in a space without light which then cannot be considered space, I make my claim to madness:
I have lived a thousand years , if not more. I have seen the sun, the moon, the galaxy, the future and the past, but not the centre of the earth.
I have read and tread every possible path of existence, in search of a purpose that cannot be answered because to answer it is to deny the very purpose of existence.
I have honed every skill, every face of human intelligence mapped through our history of evolution, revolution and civilization. I have learnt all that I fancied, and some that I have not.
I have explored every spiritual, philosophical and scientific path of enlightenment, only to realize that light is but an illusion thrust into my digestion system, forcefully devoured to which without we somehow wouldn’t even know of our existence.
I have altered my consciousness to feel and think, in absolutely different realities from the one we seem to commonly share. I have seen under the 5th dimension of measurement, the possibilities beyond the 3% of my conscious making.
I have seen the absolute truth behind human, if not worldly suffering. The blatantly wrong path of evolution we have taken and now refuse of accept as a mistake. We view but do not see the totally illogical dispersion of wealth and value, and the utter foolishness of our own inept species.
I have seen everything a human being, with his five senses, 7 Chakras and supposedly dormant, now awakened pineal glands can possibly see. I have reached the dead end of knowledge and wisdom, beyond which all I can conceive with my bare eyes is a treadmill, upon which I am supposed to live out the rest of my life.
Likened to a student, I have passed my examinations, every single paper offered, but I am not allowed to progress further. I can visit the library, or do whatever I like during recess and breaks, but not a single article of knowledge available will reach beyond what I already know and have.
My only consolation, if any, would be the insurmountable
task of fixing that one problem we denounce, with one willing soul as my comrade and an enemy in the billions. The tricky part is, I am their enemy but they are not mine.