My mother is my hero... The perfect role model... My friends are my heart.. My drive to be somone better because they believe in me.... I have changing personalities but am usually quite a happy person as long as I have much love and attention in my life and am not forced into anything or restricted otherwise I become rebellious discouraged filled with anger... I crave human affection and love to make others laugh and smile... I love to help the emotionally weak the "unloved" if at all possible watching as they become strong again... I love being myself.. In this crazy world everyone is trying to be someone else.. Fit into some kind of mold when in reality they are perfect just the way they are.. I love art... I love being overcome with emotion when reading poetry as well as writing to my hearts content... I love all kinds of music but my heart lyes within the underground... I love goth, punk, cyber, loletta, clothing, shoes, piercings, body art, the beauty of the female figure, the romance found in sadness, the strength found in vengeance, first person shooters and the destroying of inanimate objects being the extent of my violent nature... I love learning from others... There thoughts and views on life, love, science, religion, art, poetry, reading, english, music, everything except for math :P lol... I am playful as in child at heart sort of thing.. I am taboo as in kinda grose in some peoples opinion because of my morbid since of humor.. I am flirtatious at times... Not a sexual thing just because I find it amusing and funny.. I can become irritable and bossy if I don't eat.. Low blood sugar he he... I am loving, kind, patient, loyal, especially with those who gain my respect.. I posses integrity good intentions always.. I am hurt easily.. That is an understatement... Very emotionally delicate at times but with truthful reasurence I can bounce back from most things and not cause any further damage to myself... I can be silly obnoctious or the total opposite... Depending on how comfortable I am with myself around you... I tend to be shy if I don't know you or am not comfortable with myself around you.. If I loved you once I will love you for the rest of my life. That goes without saying... If you are a friend to one of my friends I will automatically except you... I love people... No matter how much I've been hurt by them I can never stay mad... I tend to put others before myself even if it destroys me depending on how deep our bond goes... My favorite animal is the cat the animal that most suits me is the raven... I value deep loyal fun and caring friendship above all else... Hmmmmm... Not much else to say... I was suicidal depressive for quite a long time.. It feels good to be free again... If you have any questions just ask... I'm not the type to be mysterious... My life is an open book for those who take the time to read it.................................................................
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
Relationship Status: Other Orientation: Straight Looking For: Friendship
Be still
Though chaos rains around you now
Only so much rain can fall at once
Breathe in
And let the air envelope you
And slow but sure, serenity will come
Close your eyes
Try to breathe
Feel the ground beneath your feet
It's still there
The world still turns around
Stand up
Though circumstance has knocked you down
There is nothing gained by staying within it's reach
Take strength
In every failure you endure
Our mistakes have many lessons they can teach
Close your eyes
Try to breathe
Feel the ground beneath your feet
It's still there
The world still turns around
Destroy
These walls you've built around yourself
You can't take another step until they're gone
Move out
No use in dwelling in the past
Bid farewell to all your fears and carry on
Close your eyes
Try to breathe
Feel the ground beneath your feet
It's still there
The world still turns around
She has always been there for me and just knows how to light up my day.. She is my sister among the most beautiful people I know. She is strong, smart, funny.. Someone I can be myself around... Her love is pure, selfless, enduring and I can't see my life without the beauty of her soul beside mine. "What ever decisions you make I'm right there behind you all the way.. I've got your back girl"....
The most awesome secound big brother a girl could ask for... He has always helped me through the darkest of times without even knowing it.. He is brilliant, funny, cute, curious, brutally honest, a blast to chill with... He enjoys my laughter and I am comfortable around him as if we have always been family.. Truly one of the most enjoyable friendships I've ever had the pleasure of being in... Friends for life *pinky swear* n_~ Your darksome raven fairy thing....
I value his kindness above all things... The compassion he has shown me and others still amazes me after all these years of knowing him... He has caused me so much pain ever since the first day we met because I can't stand seeing him hurt in any way shape or form... It makes me crazy to say the least... He shall always hold a special place in my heart...
Rea is my wonderfully cleaver evil twin... She makes me hyper in ways I forgot I could be... We feed off each other and can be compared to little chipmunks on crack, head banging until our brains turn to mushy goopey stuff... People go through there whole lives trying to find there twin and I found her at the ripe old age of 20... Thank god for the internet... lol
Mari is strong, intelligent, cool, loving, kind, gorgeous, funny, With the most wonderful dry sense of humour I have seen in years... Her British accent alone is enouph to make me drool... A voice of reason in my life if there ever was one.. Love love you girl ^_^
We have not known each other for very long but I am blessed by the care she has shown me... She understands were I am coming from probably better than most since she has been through it herself in the worst of ways... She is strong but at the same time has a very big heart.. She is wise yet at the same time humble... She is beautiful on the inside and outside.. She is a fighter and I have the deepest of respect for her because no matter what happened in her life she got threw it.. Everything good in her life she has more than earned... Much love to you Lavenia.. I will always value your words and would love to learn everything I can about you.... I am so happy to call you my big sister n_n
Midnight workings, weather down the storyline
I try to find the truth between all the lies
When Bleeding is feeling and feeling ain't real
Will I see you when I open my eyes?
Will I see you when I open my eyes?
When Breathing's a burden we all have to bear
And trust is one thing we're taught never to share
Somehow you just seem to shine
When loving means breaking and saying goodbye
(Chorus)
And I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you, I never get burned
Caught in a trap of what we're taught to believe
When night overcomes day, life's so hard to preceve
And the clock keeps on ticking through night-shattered skies
Where the stars are all broken, and so are all the ties
But the one thing remaining is you
When I'm broken and bleeding, you pull me right through
And I can't help but wonder what it is you do
When you help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you there's nothing I'd rather do
Than be right there
To escape my own life and all my fear
And I cant feel
Am I really real?
Come and wipe all my tears
Come and wipe all my tears
And I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you...
I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you, I never get burned
Thanks for all the giggles and grins tonight chica...you made my evening sooooo much better, cause it wasn't going so well before you called. *Love ya lots!* ~L
Hey,
I just wanted to stop by and say hi. I think you called me the other night. At least I think it was your number. I hope everything is ok. I love your new hp. ^_^ Take care...~L
Hello Aly...I am sorry that I was not around today when you left your message. I had been talking to Timothy and when I left I forgot to log out. My life has been very hectic lately so I haven't been able to talk to friends much, but it seems from your message you are doing well and I am happy for you! Hang in there and keep smiling and writing. You have a tenacious side to you it seems, and if you use to your advantage of this you will be fine. Take care...*hugs and lots of love* ~Lavenia
Hi Aly, I am sorry I didn't leave a message. The past couple of times I have just been visiting pages and I like your music..so, I just stopped by.. As for the biting part, that doesn't worry me, because I'll bite back :o) I am glad that you have someone helping you to feel better. I have thought about you and wondered how you were doing. Please take care of yourself...and talking to yourself in 3rd person is ok...hehe..I do it too! Catch ya later!
IMVU is celebrating YOU for contributing to the community’s diversity! Because you have indicated in your profile that you are interested in Goth, we’d like you to have this exclusive sticker and invite you to check out the collection “All Things Goth” we’ve put together on the blog. Click here to enjoy!
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Hey Aly! I'm sorry I haven't been around much here. I am swamped at work and bringing a lot home. It's sort of funny, because while Timothy yells at people playing on the Xbox I'm yelling at the crap that I am trying to complete for work. As for you calling me, I got your message, but I am afraid that you are on a list with others that whose calls I have not returned because of work and my yakking with Timothy.
Hello, I saw your comment in the dark poets society and thought I'd come check out your page. I see we both enjoy the artwork of Louis Royo. You seem like an interesting character, one worth getting to know. Chat with me sometime.
~Luc~
If you log in between March 6th and March 13th, you will get your very own robo-bunny. Now, this robotic rabbit may seem like any other cuddly accessory, but the superheroes have been hunting down these robo-rabbits all month on IMVU. See what makes these pesky rabbits so evil by joining the Villainous Robo-Rabbits and Mad Scientists as they takeover IMVU.
Hi...If you like poetry go to Helium.com and look for Ricky Fingerz. I hope you enjoy. Email me if you would like 2 no more about this great information site....Bye 4 now...
We haven't had a chat in a while and I just randomly remembered you tonight/today so I figured I'd buy a gift. Hopefully it isn't something you already own.
Ello I just noticed Ashbury Heights and Bare your teeth. Wah I've been listening to tht song the whole week, month even. Ashbury Heights are truly remarkable.
Silent screams echo through the dark
knife held in my right hand
each vein so elegantly placed for my convenience
each droplet of blood appearing more crimson than the last
I loose control
just one sip and I'm hooked again
slowly I cut little gashes telling myself that is all I shall do
before I can think my legs are covered in blood
deep cuts
and that beautiful red spills forth
not one tear is shed until I realize how fare I've gone
how deep the cuts go
someones at the door asking me how I am
silent screams call out for help
asking them to end my suffering
no reply
I stumble forth and look into my broken mirror
shards of glass still intact
a thin needle and thread hanging from one corner of my mouth
I rip the stitches away trembling from fear
trying to scream my mouth opens wide
no sound breaks the silence
only blood spills forth and a stub where my tung once lay
pleading over and over again for this life to leave
no one
I am alone.........
Love every time it comes around it digs in deeper and brings me further down. I have lost so many in my years different reasons but the same result as feared. Pain comes dealing blows upon my heart every time that we are pulled apart. Old scares opened by this pain my life force begins to wane. Tears pouring down my face my bleeding heart begins to race. Shards of glass embrace me as I fall, making me feel not alone at all. Passing in and out of consciousness I begin to feel my old bliss. Numbness comes my pain is gone making me feel ever strong. Searching for my little box I drag myself across the floor. Finding it I pry it open hoping to find this prized token. Silver sharp is what I find the exact thing I had in mind. Pulling a long black strand through the eye, I start to work throughout the night........
No mercy no forgiveness no pity take me by the hair pull it till I scream throw me down on the ground step all over me take that knife to my throat slit it open make me chock as my longs fill with blood grab me by those arms tigh me bound cut me up make me feel stab my gut now the pain is gone as my blood flows gasping out for air drowning in my own despair.....
(Choose Your Reality) What do you call it when your whole world is consumed in feeling when your mind clouds dense and the fog becomes black your eyes never adjusting to this pigment your soul trapped within boundaries of routine why do we become addicted to emotion seek it out hold it dear as if our whole existence depends on it emotion is a drug take it in and get your fill just like pain the feeling I long to maintain anger sorrow hurt all to get that fix happiness passion love all to get what makes us tick fall down upon your knees and get trapped with in despondency or free your mind from all these binds thick they may be tied you down it's agony yet once you realize the truth nothing can stop that mind from growth we are hear to create to experience so much each unmade decision a different existence choose carefully or get caught up standing in a web of realities trapped with in despondency it's killing us slowly.........
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