http://avatars.imvu.com/Guest_xxxCrushxxx

About Me


Name : Jacob Richard Thomas Golding
Birthdate : July.26,1991
Height : 6'1"
Weight : 134
Eye colour : Blue
Hair Colour : Black (Naturally brown)
Fav Band : Alesana
Fav Song : Shameful by Atreyu
Movie Style :Comedies and Horrors and i love Romance =)

My Life
Wanna know who I am? Well heres a bit of background for you so that maybe you can try to "get me" I’ve grown up...hating most people..because my whole childhood I’ve been the “loser” and people seem to automatically before even knowing me whatsoever judge me and hate me..I used to be confused, and would try and "fit in". It never happened. Noone was like me, noone understood how i felt, noone even tried to care. Now I'm a teen that..is used to being hated..used to being picked on..used to not having anyone there for him..I grew to just..not care. Over the years of abuse I have put up this shell around myself. I barely talk and..I grew to stop..kinda loving things. Everything just turned into a .."whatever.." Because of this I kinda cut myself off from almost everything socially except like..the internet. Im like..an outsider to the world in a way. I grew to accept the fact that, I was different from most people..I don’t fit in..and now..I don’t even want to really..why would I want to be with people that are just..so judging..and cruel. I have a major problem with opening up..I dont really let people get to know me all that well because I never well...talk..or do anything..I hold back on everything i do around people because no matter what it is..i just like..either dont want to be noticed..or dont want to be rediculed..i dont even know what it is exactly..I just cant open up to people. Its even worse when im around people i dont know at all...and girls..I dunno why that is..probably because ive never really had much feminine influence in my life or something..my mom was kinda not a part of my life as I grew up..only recently has she fixed her problems and came back into my life.But..me not being able to open up to people isnt always the case..I have opened up to some people. Most online..since well..I guess I kinda drop the shell I put myself in online and can be myself, A few others because..well..i dunno how it happened..but I feel secure around these people whom are my friends at school..even though they pick on me like crazy too..but i can handle that n_n. I want to open up to people to..I really do..but its like I dont know how..or I just cant..I pretty much need someone to help me or something..I dunno...I'm broken i guess. Im an emo kid..I use the term emo not because I label but because its the easiest way for me to say and have you understand what I mean. Life.. I really do hate it..I hate “people” as a general group..and I have good reason too...people tend to hate me..most people are just jerks...although..im not mean to anyone..I really..just try and stay out of everyone’s way. I think about things in the worst of light. I have this idea made up for myself..that "nothing ever works out for me..everything backfires..im not meant to be happy"..I guess i cant say exactly why i do this..maybe I do it to protect myself from getting hurt...getting attached to something that just disappears. Im really sensitive..I get hurt really easily..but I always try and hide it ^_^..and im pretty good at hiding it too xP.I go through these giant depressed periods...but then i get better..but it always comes back..its a slump i get into that i dunno how to get out of..but somehow I just do..I usually get into these slumps over silly things that i get paranoid about and bother me...and i like..never get out of them until I say what i want to say or get something off my chest, its weird..haha, i often write poetry when im sad...i guess thats kinda kewl XD...but you dont want to read what i write..its very..err..Emo usually n_n, maybe ill post some of my stuff up if people want me too. I kinda hate like..everything about myself..Im ugly and boring and theres nothing special about me at all..I dont even know how someone can like me to be truthfully honest..but some people find a way i guess..some people i think are just too nice for their own good to find something in me worth sticking around for. Well...thats me ^_^, yea yea i know im like..a complete freak, but you already know that xP Stop feeling bad for me btw :P..cause I know you are..I am quite the tear jerker i know but this is just how life is for me n_n. Its not like im gonna go jump off a cliff so dont worry either. thx for reading, chow <3

Some things to note when leaving messages like these...


YOU ARE A BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!!!...
- Whatever terrible things you have to say about me are likely true..and i know that..so why say it..you cant make me feel worse than i already do..

Copy and paste this and your wish wil come true!!!!
- ..Wish's dont come true for me..why try?..i dont so i wont even try your "Magical chain message"

Aww it gonna be okay, dont worry about anything..its gonna be alright,
- Prove it..because it never has been yet...why is it gonna start changing now...unless your gonna make it happen..it wont so dont say it..

AWESOME PAGE AND AVI PIC!!!
-Heh... I often get others to do my avi pic and i only just started doing my page myself..but yea i agree with you..I also like my pic and page

I ALWAYS READ, REPLY, AND DELETE

You are the people who make my world go round..Luv you all for being there for me..and making me smile when I feel helpless and alone.

Thanks for visiting my page...leave a message and I promise ill message back. So if you wanna talk to me and possibly get to know me you know what to do. :)

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