i'm simple. you should start from the beginning, but ignore the prequels. i am made up of a chemical concoction mixed with paranoia, sewage, stardust, and chemical x. i write award-winning operas. i manage time efficiently. i can cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. i am the subject of numerous documentaries. when i'm bored, i build large suspension bridges in my yard. i have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. the laws of physics do not apply to me. i breed prize-winning clams. i write under pseudonyms. my hair is unkempt.