I would like to create a, "Book Reviews" section on my blog filled with endorsements and condemnations from my fellow IMVU users.
write anything you feel like, an endorsement, a critique, a psychological profile, warnings, a list of ingredients, direction on how to use… heh, whatever you want. It doesn't have to be kind, only humorous and appropriate for a non-AP page.
Book Reviews
Review that book guy, huh? Well, the guy is damaged, messed up, you know? Anyone who writes the kind of stuff he does and then shares it with random strangers for self-amusement just can't be all there, if you know what I mean? I don't even want to think about what motivates him to twist up those poor little balloons into such unnatural shapes and call it art. - bookwormblues
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Book is a unique, intriguing, captivating person, I am honored to have as a friend. A great speaker, writer and listener, there is never a dull moment if you are lucky enough to be in his company. An expert fisherman, I will always bite onto his hook no matter how many times he catches, and releases me. - MissVera
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Observed Subject: Bookwormblues
Age: 39
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Known Habitat: IMVU Chatrooms
Known Diet: Vended Food - Peanut M&Ms ( none are safe even it fails the 3 second rule.)
Observed Behavior(s):
The subject has been observed sitting in the dirt with a suit on. During which time it was rumored that he swatted at mosquitoes, emptied a bottle of Geritol, played with matches and rectited stories with anyone that would exchange stories with him.
Upon further investigation I found the subject to converse with an eclectic band of miscreants. What is not yet known is whether or not the miscreants have been rubbing off on the subject or if the subject has been rubbing off on the miscreants. Both the subject and the miscreants appeared to have engaged in some form of imaginary play. The play had the appearance of swinging through the branches of a tree as though they were monkeys. They seemed to have stashed over ripened plums for this event. In the midst of swinging through the branches they would throw these plums at each other in mid-imaginary-flight. There was much laughter involved.
While hiding out in the shadows, I noticed the subject taking notes as rays of light would cast interesting colors and shapes into the room. The subject studied the deep contrasts, and the spectrum of colors as the light broke through the darkened areas and refracted through transparent objects in the room. For a moment the light would catch the subject's iris and show the contemplating soul of a poet as he dreams up his next piece.
More people approached the room. My only course of action to avoid discovery was to feign sleep. The people were not so easily fooled. They wanted to make sure the voices in my head were sleeping too. One of them pulled out a Q-Tip. I became frightened, but I had to maintain my composure. Inside my head, I could here the voices scurrying for cover. It was too late, Henry, the voice of reason had be stabbed by the Q-Tip. The subject, Bookwormwormblues gave only a smug smile. Together with new people, the subject wandered off next to a campfire in the sand.
I laid there for a moment not quite mourning the loss of reason. Left behind in the room was a tackle box and some clothes that a fly fisherman would wear. I looked inside the tackle box. There was a dictionary, a thesaurus, a half eaten bag of peanut M&Ms, some empty peanut shells, a journal, two Geritol pills, USB flashdrive, and sheathed knife.
I took two peanut M&Ms and ate them. I inspected the USB flashdrive and found it filled with images of females ranging in age from 18 to 80. I returned the flashdrive and noticed on the knife's sheath there were some initial's scribed into it. T.K.C.B.W. I put everything back into it's original place minus the two M&Ms that were now giving me gas. There was laughter in the background. I left the shadows to seek the source of the laughter.
I found the subject once again. This time he was in his underwear, a pair of boxers. The subject was still wearing his shoes. His socks were held up by garter belts. He had no shirt on. He was wearing his glasses. In his mouth, he had a rose. He was dancing by the campfire in the sand. Around him, I could see the faces of his captive audience. Their appearance was all different in their attire. But their faces were the same. They all appeared to be fish.
-The observations of man formerly of reason, Waynems
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ATTENTION
we now interrupt your regular programming to give u the latest info on the epidemic formerly known has BOOKWORMBLUES!!!!
HOW TO PROCEED WITH CAUTION WHEN HANDLING A BOOKWORMBLUES
step 1: keep his creativity in a well ventilated area away from open flames or explosions of ideas may occur.
step 2: do not leave your children unattended in his presence or they will catch contagious excitement.
step 3: do not keep away from balloon animals.
step 4: if your aura comes in contact with his colorful personality shake your hands in the air and do the funky chicken dance.
step 5: inflate with good cheer then release him thoughtfully into a room and watch him go pffffffff as he fills your braincells with his humorous gas of silliness.
step 6: put on a disco outfit to avoid contamination from not spreading.
step 7: if his good looks come in contact with your eyes, take a crayon and draw outside the lines.
step 8: if you should absorb some of his wackiness, try gathering everyone you can find to fill a pool of jello and then jump into it.
step 9: do not wash your hands before touching him , cover them of paint before you do.
step 10: if he presents signs of saturday night fever, feed him nachos and invite your local zoo.
we now return you to your regular program!!!
- Kliwia
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Stop everything!
This man who goes by the name of bookwormblues is no more than an impostor! Too long has he tried to toy with us; fool us with his malevolent schemes. I have been on his trail for 15 years, but now I have all I need to put this criminal mastermind behind bars. And the answer was right there all along, in what he ostentatiously calls his "birthday request". I have it all here:
Would you help me with a project? I would like to create a, "Book Reviews" section on my blog filled with endorsements and condemnations from my friends. write anything you feel like, an endorsement, a critique, a psychological profile, warnings, a list of ingredients, directions on how to use... heh, whatever you want. It doesn't have to be kind, only humorous and appropriate for a non-AP page.
My suspicions first were aroused when he asked us all to help him with his "project". Only a nefarious demon could make such a blatant invitation to look beyond this pretext of a "book review" section on a blog and spot a grander scheme behind it. Then he deviously submits his own work, a poignant piece on reflections of the little things in life, to lull us into a false sense of security. He then plays cloak and dagger by presenting his versatility in the creative arts; a play on school period romance, distracting us from the main scheme of things: a subtle nod to Hamlet's plan, “The play is the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King". He knew I was onto him yet with arrogant disdain, he cannot help but put on a whimsical piece about the lives of monkeys. Well, you may think you have made monkeys of us all, but I am not beaten yet! All these games are but mere hors d'oeuvres before the main course. Through subtle plagarization of our works; sifting out the poor and keeping the cream of the crop, he has been able to create his own book, which will go on sales any day now at every major bookstore across the land! A masterful stroke, however he forgot one thing. He accidently let slip of his intentions before hand with a seemingly comical picture of "the birds and the bees" as his profile image. An amusing little joke, but as I am sure you are all aware, to the mud worshiping tribes of the Hovitos, the phrase "birds and the bees", in their native tongue means "he who concocts elaborate, copyright-circumventing master plans". And it almost worked, Bookwormblues, or should I call you DR ANTONIO FABERGÉ IV! For that, I can applaud you, but now, I think it is up to the police to do the rest.
I think my work hear is done. If you don't mind, I'd like to leave; there is a stink of evil hanging in this air, and I want to go far from here..."the rest...is silence".
- maninahat
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'elephant stew' here is the recipe: This dish takes about 2 to 3 months to prepare. Ingredients 1 Elephant 10 Warthog 100 kilogram tomatoes half ton potatoes 2 bags onions 100 kilogram salt 1 wheelbarrow onions (heaped) 10 liter vinegar 20 liter chutney 4 Guinea fowl Method Hunt the elephant, warthog and guinea fowl. Hang guinea fowl to ripen. Cut elephant into edible chunks, (will take about a month). Boil the warthog with other ingredients (except guinea fowl) till nice and juicy. Now boil elephant chunks over high flames till tender. (will take about 4 weeks) and add everything together. Boil for another 5 to 7 days. Produces about 3,500 helpings. Note: If the above isn't enough, add the guinea fowl as well. *save me a plate* lol -thandie22
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It has often been said there's so much to be read, you never can cram all those words in your head. So the writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads. That's why my belief is the briefer the brief is, the greater the sigh of the reader's relief is. -- Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel) This Quote provided by the the gentle courtesy of PattySueAllen
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*'Twas the Night I met Bookworm*
'Twas a night just like others, and all through the house,
no sounds to be heard, but the click of a mouse.
My shoes were lined neatly next to my door,
with a death trap of legos disguised as the floor.
My children were screaming, not quite ready to sleep,
So I took a few Advil, and proceeded to speak.
I spoke very softly, voice calm and slowed,
so I wouldn't yell out "My head's going to explode!"
The kids fell asleep, much to my relief,
and I entered the chat room; stared in disbelief.
Random words rhyming, flying through my screen-
it took me a minute, "what could they mean?"
As I watched the exchange, I found myself smiling.
The poem was so random, the rhymes just kept piling.
As time passed by, friendships became-
We'd enter the room and he'd shout out our names:
"Calamity, hello!
Julis, how are you?
Hippy and El-
why, it's the whole crew!
Bebi and Waynems
why don't you come dance?
Alphage and Sill,
where are your pants?!"
We shared many secrets and talked very deep,
we even shared stories of butter and sheep!
We'd listen to music and often we joked,
shout out random words to see what it provoked.
In no time at all we had formed a small gang,
and not many people would venture to "Brains".
He told many stories, captured our hearts-
it was hard to let go when he had to depart.
He'd jump up and hug us, going 'round the room,
playing songs to prolong it as the hugs we consumed.
He'd speak of returning, we'd see through chat clutter,
"I'll bring the ankles, if you bring the butter!"
-Calamity101
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Hidden restless spirit torn
amidst the swelling seas
within the carnal shell forlorn
a prayer on bended knees.
A soul that longs for one more day
but cares to see no more
betwixt between she cannot say
which side she's longing for.
Angel, devil both inside
battle one another on
within they jointly now reside
until the fight is won
Seraph lifted from below
evil locked away
others see but do not know
the things she will not say
Joy and grace are on her lips
but fear is in her soul
the scale of good and evil tips
a tenuous balance roll.
Conscious choice to live in light
she blinds herself to sin
tries she now to live what's right
with darkness hidden in.
The rose a flower and a thorn
aesthetics fragrant be
its beauty is without its scorn
despite its dichotomy
Is she but a rose in flesh
a pearl within a shell
both right and wrong within a mesh
her secrets not to tell.
- VioletLacrimosa
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My book review: So I was sitting in that brain room one day, bored out of my mind fending off the constant stream of noobs.. when this rusty looking Book came to my attention.
Most of the ladies seemed to be really interested in it... so I figure it can't be that bad of a read and I picked it up before they could.
Flipping through just a few pages of it... Boy, was I hooked. The book was somewhat of a indecent compilation of inane jokes, short proses, poetry (???), and a bunch of lewd pictures all thrown together.
There's a curious section of personal ads on the last page, all of them giving different descriptions of a 39 year-old guy who lives in the woods.
Anyway, I still pick it up from time to time when I need something to occupy my mind (mostly when I go to the washroom). Not a bad read at all. I'd keep an eye for more from the series. - Alphage
Disclaimer: I don't write much, please excuse all the typos, bad wordings, etc :P
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Bookwormblues: kind, loving, causes feelings of warmness like a good pale ale... always ready to curl you up next to his rocker and calm your anxieties with a story... or reassure you of all that is steady and good in the world with his lovely salt-and-peppered hair-do. ~StarchildHolly
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You are too um...wormy charming in that way, it's like, "I iz cewl old writer dude! LUVERS MEES! LUVERS ME LONG TYME BUT STAY DA FUC AWAYS!"
- Romenlady89
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Pigtails, the cutest smiles, but it's all delusion,
Kneesocks, the sweetest eyes, it's just a grand illusion.
When they're bad, they just get better, like saints full of sin,
and again, the constrictor queens, will shed their skin.
All the naughty lordi girls, they know it's good to be bad,
They're gonna claw before they purr, they know it's good, good to be bad.
She-Hulk's in a girl disguise, you'll fall into confusion.
Now they might, play it nice, but you're heading for an execution,
When they're bad, they just get better, like saints full of sin,
And again the constrictor queens, will shed their skin.
All the naughty lordi girls, they know it's good to be bad,
they're gonna claw before they purr.
They know it's good, good to be bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[Solo] All the naughty lordi girls, they know it's good, they know it's good.
All the naughty lordi girls, they know it's good to be bad,
they're gonna claw before they purr, they know it's good, good to be bad.
All the naughty lordi girls, they know it's good to be bad,
they're gonna claw before they purr, they know it's good, good to be bad.