DUN DUN DUNNNNN...!!
the return of the
..BLOG..

1.22.10
20.19 EST

i haven't forgotten about you...
happy new year! yea, yeaaa.. i know i'm late, but better late than never, right? we're 3 weeks deep into the new year (yup, already!) and already i've had my heart and my big toe broken and my ego bruised. i've been busy! cheaaa... lol. -dusts myself off- i bounce back though.. like balls. i'm kinda sensitive like them, too. shit hurts.. immensely! but then the pain eases away and i stand a lil taller... dodge blows a lil faster... & feel a lil wiser.
<.< ...and that's all i have to say about that.
on another note... audioblog coming sooooooon!! so, not only will u get to relish in my words in black and white text, u can also luxuriate in the smooth seduction of my voice. :D i know... you're excited right?!

12.10.09
14.01 EST

-beatboxes and singzzzz-
"don't believe the lies. look me in my eyes. please don't be scared of me..."

i am never on time. i try-- i really do, but there's always this 20minute delay that i pick up somehow or somewhere. i always find out the latest & greatest info 3 days after it breaks. -shrugs- i don't know why... it probably has something to do with the fact i find it really hard to give a fuck. :) so i'm really not surprised that it took me this long to realize that honesty is no longer considered the best policy. i know, i KNOW! late again... but i don't get it. why lie? if you can't beat me or fire me.. i really can't see much of a reason to tell you a lie or for you to tell me one either. are you scared of me? -evil laughs- really? what am i gonna do to you? more than likely, i'm just gonna do one of three things: laugh obnoxiously loud in your face, or simply raise one eyebrow, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson style, straight-arm point at you and shake my head in disgust at your lying ass... orrr just stop fuckin with you. --nothing real dramatic. my mama raised me to be polite, but you'll notice we don't speak as much... and when we do i really won't have much to say, because really... why would we have anything to talk about if i know i can't trust what comes out of your mouth? trust that i won't lie to you. no matter who you are. you may not understand my logic behind the truth i tell lol... or maybe you really just won't want to believe me, but lies don't come easily to me. i have to prepare and plan and concoct and plot, b/c best believe if i'm gonna take the time to lie i'm NOT gonna get caught... and as you know-- i'm just lazy, so chances are there won't be many lies forthcoming.
((BUT!.. and this can be a little confusing for all my special friends, so i'll go nice and slow. :D))
there's a handful of friendly little lies (we'll call them "flies") that, to me, get a pass. calling in sick to work/school when you don't even have a sniffle... that's one of those okay flies. "mmm baby you're the BEST!"... that's an okay fly. (unless it's HORRIBLE! then you're obligated to tell them, so 'baby' can work on their performance and is not punishing their next with the kinda experience that makes you wish you had drunk one of those nasty V8 tomato drinks instead.) ...and "i'm fine." sometimes you don't want the world in your business-- and sometimes the world doesn't want to know. i usually don't ask someone how they're doing unless i really want to know, but lots of people ask out of habit or courtesy and really couldn't care less whether you're fine or not, and don't really wanna hear your life story... so i tell a fly :D say i'm fine, unless i know whether the person asking is really asking or just making small talk...
the kinda lies that will get you blocked or knocked out...
"WHO'S DICK YOU SUCKIN?!"
(lol... in other words if your boo questions your fidelity)
...if you say no one, KNOWING you have less than fresh penis breath and proceed to kiss and cupcake with the person who has asked, you deserve to be punched in your DSL's. if you are a male and clearly feel uncomfy with busting your cheating lady in the mouth, i will split her lip open for a small fee :) --ladies i'll punch your cheating, carpet munching men in the mouth too, if you're scared.
never say, "i love you," if it's not true.
there's avi to avi love... that's cool, if my avi loves your avi, but outside of that... don't do it. there are bunches of other lies that will get you run over by my car, so it's best just NOT to lie all willy-nilly to me... but then again, i may just run you over anyway for really no apparent reason if i'm feeling some kinda way at that particular moment. -shrugs-

11.25.09
10.34 EST

turkey is delicious.
it really is... juicy, succulent and hearty. i tried being a vegetarian once... it lasted 6months. then, i had an altercation with a bacon cheeseburger, and well... that was that. but! on this thanksgiving's day eve, i really don't want to talk about bacon or turkey no matter how mouth wateringly tempting it may be to go off on a tangent. i'm always torn on thanksgiving day. i feel like it's the equivalent of celebrating the day amistad hit the the shores of new america... or throwing a party to commemorate the holocaust. it's kinda hard for me to enjoy my cranberry sauce while i'm thinking about the trickery and bamboozelment of a whole race of folks. it's hard. but not impossible. as i enjoy my mama's sweet potato pie tomorrow, and an icy glass of moscato... i'll make sure i pour some out for my fallen native american brethren, and send a prayer up for their descendants.
happy thanksgiving! :)

11.18.09
14.53 EST

STALKING.
-takes a deep breath and puts on my super serious face- yes, stalking. it's finally time for me to address the issue. my name is AiR and i'm a stalk-aholic. indeed. i will stalk you... i will stalk your page. turn around in a public room and, guess what? BAM bitch! there i am staring from a dark corner. why do i do it? -shrugs- its sexy. it's a expression of dedication and loyalty-- an expression of my commitment to you as a long term fixture in my life. if i'm not stalking you, you don't mean much to me. i typically don't do it for the same reasons YOU stalk though. :) typically... (tell me if i'm wrong-- i'm probably not. but should you care to exercise your fingers and type me a little note about how you disagree-- feel free! i like a good chuckle every now and again :)) YOU stalk out of yearning. mhm. i said yearning. YOU stalk out of a desire to know more about someone... to just bask in their presence and soak up their goodness... to become a little mini-me version of the object of your obsession. YOU stalk cause you have psycho tendencies and dreams of humping your target and shackling them down with kiddies, a ring and a soccermom type vehicle. YOU stalk, sometimes out of hate, and viciousness in search of ammunition against an imagined enemy who 9 times out of 10 is not even thinking about you... all of which are very unsexy reasons and, in my opinion, abuse of the sacredness of stalking. it makes genuine stalkers like me catch a bad wrap. YOU are tarnishing the stalking game for all the OS's (original stalkers). cut it out.

11.09.09
16.31 EST

as you know... (well, if you cared to know :D) the blog was on an extended hiatus due to umm.. lazyness. dont judge me -.- but i'm baaack like them poltergeist... just not as scary. what does scare me, though-- is this one particular fashion trend that has gotten out of hand. who told the world it was cute to look like someone rubbed you down in elmer's craft glue then rolled your ass around in LV's until you come out of the house looking like a Louie Vuitton christmas ball? same thing goes for all those Coach and Chanel C's... the Gucci G's and those big ole Fendi F's. it looks silly. :| everything in moderation, please. a bag, a scarf... a pair of shoes, fine. even if you rock a pair of pants with a solid top, or vice versa, shirt to pants.-- but if you're head to toe in the logo's pattern: 1. it's fake. the designer wouldn't make anything so fugly. and 2. you're making me dizzy; cut it out. :)

more seriously, though...
everybody gets called foul names at some point in time in their life, but i think i get called the craziest shit sometimes... this week alone i've been called: psycho, bitch, lazy, fake, immature... and my new favorite!... an "emotional track-star." everybody's mama always tells them to ignore name calling, but i feel like, instead, you have to be willing to see yourself the way other people perceive you in order to get a better understanding of who you are so you can keep striving toward who you wanna be. of course... you have to consider the source of the insults. some times an insult is just an insult... the person is jealous or just an all out hate filled miserable mf. other times... i have to take a step back and see the harsh words as a road map toward bettering me. okay. maybe i shouldn't have hid that hungry man's car keys in the mash potatoes at the buffet because he cut me in line. maybe that was immature... and maybe i should be more upfront about my romantic intentions with people... maybe it does seem fake if we chop it up, have a grand old time and then blah. i'm disinterested. ...but i'm working on me :) bottom line? there really isn't one haha. i just like to ramble, but if i had to pull one out of my ass: the next time someone calls you over-sensitive, clingy, gullible... a bitch, an asshole or boderline retarded-- you just might be.