I was married for many years, had 4 children, and got divorced. After some time I ran into the person who was my first crush. We dated, got married, had one child and will be celebrating our 9th anniversary soon.
Due to many challenges in my life I haven't been online for several months.
In Feb. my ex decided to take me to court for a motion to modify the divorce decree. He wanted custody of our children. We've gone to court many times this year, very stressful.
I also was working at ARC (association of retarded citizens). I helped them learn how to count money, go shopping, and see that they got the correct change back. I also took them many places in the community to socialize. We would go dancing, to the movies, bowling, out to eat ect. It is very rewarding to see their eyes light up or see them smile. It made all my work enjoyable and I felt like I was making a huge difference in their lives. I worked 40-50 hour weeks.
I began having severe muscle pain and was tired all the time. I cut back on my hours at work, thinking this would help. I also went to the Dr. many times and was given medication, only to find it getting worse. As time went on I found it was hard for me to focus on my work. Then one day I made a mistake at work that cost me my job.
In September I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It is a condition in which you have widespread muscular pain, fatigue, disturbances of sleep, varying degrees of anxiety and depression, tension headaches, migraines, and cold intolerance. There is currently no cure for this.
The end of October my children went to live with their dad, in another state, over 3 hours away. With so many things going on at once, I found myself questioning why and how all this could happen to me. I stopped going to church, stayed home as much as possible, and just felt like there was no hope. This lasted for many months.
Then one day I said enough! I refuse to live this way. I will not let the devil steal my joy, health, finances, peace, or anything else. I went to a different Dr. who had heard of fibromyalgia. That Dr. changed my medications and treatment.
I've started going back to church and focus on God. I am determined to overcome my physical body. I recommitted my life to Him and caste all my cares upon Him. He gives me peace that passes understanding. He doesn't need me to work things out for Him, I need Him. His ways are greater than mine.
I find many "Christians" think it's all about going to church, following the rules, doing good to others, and simply living a good life. They pray only when they need or want something, or in troubled times. I know all about it. But, I tell you that you could do all of these things excellently and still NOT get into Heaven.
Anyway, I now have a relationship with God, not just a religion. He lives in my heart and we speak many times a day. I don't confess to be perfect or without sin. I am only an ordinary person with my sins washed away. I try to be more Christ like every day, even though I am human. He is still working on me.
QUESTIONS: Feel free to contact me or leave a message.
Blessings
